Paying bills through sports while our startup still sucks

Welcome to The Monkey Brain.

October 15, 2020

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When Usaama and I got together to form MBS, we wanted to do two things:

 

1-    Change how news is produced and consumed.

2-    As degenerates, have enough money to make big boy bets on Sports.

 

The challenge was that it’ll take a while before we build up enough dedicated readers/viewers to support our bad habits.

 

In the meantime if we kept downing beers and making idiotic bets, we’ll end up back in our mommy’s basement so fast our heads will spin. Saying you work for a company that has the same initials as the Saudi King is already a women repellent – Mommy’s basement would take the chances of getting laid from 0.1% straight to zero.

 

So we had the idea of using some things we learned in school and made this algorithm that helped us win more than lose when betting on the UFC.

 

The way it works is we do all the same shit every other algorithm does like a fighter’s heigh and age and strikes landed, then we incorporate what the experts like Uncle Chael or ESPN is saying, and weigh it based on the analyst’s past performances. So if Uncle Chael was right 80% of the time about Heavyweight fights but only 30% right about Lightweights, we’ll believe him much more when he predicts heavyweights.

Then we crack open a few cold ones, maybe a little smokey smoke, and sprinkle in some Gut Feelings. We’ll also summarize the picks from most of the experts so you don’t have to go to 10 different sites to get the information on which analyst picked who to win.

 

So we’ll see how much runway betting on sports will get us. Hopefully it’s long enough for our news side to catch on.

 

We’re far from successful so take this with a huge grain of salt, but I think it was the right call to have 2 revenue streams: 1 immediate even though not too lucrative, and another in the distant future but potentially very lucrative. That way you can still pay rent for your piece of shit apartment, while trying for something bigger and better.

 

You might not become a sports betting millionaire with our picks and analysis, but reading us is a great way to avoid work, and warm your emotionless heart through the rush of gambling for the first time in years. We researched the fuck out of every pick we give you, and you should Know we’re doing our best because if we keep losing, we’re fucked.

 

And we’ll keep our betting records public so you can follow us on this journey and shame us if we suck.

 

Join us, and tell your degenerate friends about us.

 

Oh and the usual disclaimer: If you have a gambling problem, don’t fucking gamble. Go get help. Or reach out to us. We’ll respond and help out if we can (not financially – we’re still broke).

OUR UFC PICKS THIS WEEK

COVINGTON over WOODLEY

68%

GARAGORRI over BEKTIC

28%

PRICE over CERRONE

52%

SPANN over WALKER

35%

STEWART over HOLLAND

81%

Sports News Daily

Never miss an Update

Reveive notifications when the picks are posted or updated.

Privacy Policy | Read the Latest

Our stock picks this week

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$1000 Bonus

02

$100 Risk Free

03

$200 Deposit

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OUR UFC PICKS THIS WEEK

COVINGTON over WOODLEY

68%

GARAGORRI over BEKTIC

28%

PRICE over CERRONE

52%

SPANN over WALKER

35%

STEWART over HOLLAND

81%

Sports News Daily

Never miss an Update

Reveive notifications when the picks are posted or updated.

Privacy Policy | Read the Latest

Our stock picks this week

01

$1000 Bonus

02

$100 Risk Free

03

$200 Deposit

04

$6000 Bonus

05

$1000 Bonus

06

$1000 Bonus

Monkey-Brain 1

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